One of my blogger friends recently wrote a blog post on the topic of comparison and I absolutely can relate. As women we are all very aware of comparison within our own lives, whether it be in reference to jobs, being the best boss babe, having the best family or cutest, having the best hair, more followers, more likes on Instagram, you name it and we will compare. While I try not to compare myself and know that comparison is the thief of joy, it still inevitably seems to happen. It is crazy the things that I sometimes think about or the things I notice, ultimately comparing my worth to someone else. On top of comparing myself to others, I also often compare myself to the high expectations that I have set for myself. And if it wasn’t already exhausting trying to measure up to everyone else standards, it is even more so to not measure up to the standards you’ve placed on yourself. In both cases, whether it be comparing myself to my own expectations of where I should be or comparing myself to others and being upset about where I may be in life, I find myself with a defeated outlook of life and that does nothing for me other than cause more negativity to seep in. Ain’t no one got time for that!
I have found myself getting wrapped up in the social media world and while I have found some truly amazing friends through blogging, social media can be exhausting. Having to jump all the hurdles of Instagram, like the whole shadow ban thing, choosing the best, most accurate hashtags, the whole follow/ unfollow crap… it is very irritating and can be completely exhausting. When I allow myself to get wrapped up in all of those things, then I loose the joy of being on social media and connecting with others. I have had many chats with myself about self worth and not letting Instagram or other social media outlets dictate who I am as a person. And maybe you are like me and you just need to hear some truth… well here it is!
First of all, the things people post on Social media are little glimpses of their life, but the pictures don’t at all sum a persons life up or tell you exactly who they are. The likes on your pictures or the follows you receive do not make you worthy or unworthy- THEY DO NOT SUM UP YOUR WORTH! You are beautiful, worthy, intelligent, unique- so unique that there is only 1 of you and that is what is so incredible! You are loved by the Creator of the Universe and He saw you and said “ it is good!” He knew you and formed you in your mother’s womb… He knows everything about you… He knows what and who you will become and the greatest thing ever is .. HE LOVES YOU FOR YOU!
I have seen with the growth of social media, it is a lot easier for me to compare myself to strangers…I don’t know them or what their lives are like, but from the amazing pictures they post, I think they must have a great life. Comparing ourselves to others may never go away completely, but we must watch our thoughts and how we let those comparisons rule our lives. By making steps to regain our confidence and not allowing petty things to consume us or make us feel less worthy than others, we can begin to get a hold of our comparing selves. Below I provided a couple things to remember and/ or do to help when you begin to compare yourself to others, and while there are no magical steps to automatically cause you not to compare yourself to someone else or to those standards you have placed on yourself, just remembering and being aware can be a BIG help!
Be aware and realize when you are comparing yourself.
The first thing you have to do is become aware of when you may be comparing yourself and try to stop it. The best way to do this is to remind yourself of all that you have and be grateful for everything! A grateful heart works wonders!
Remind yourself that you are not seeing 100% of a person’s life on Instagram or social media.
When you look at someone’s social media or Instagram, many times it is a highlight reel. We love to post beautiful pictures and fun sayings, but life is not always perfect and beautiful. There are raw and hard moments. Everyone is dealing with these things, even those bloggers who have a ton of followers and get tons of likes… we all deal with the same things. Just remember that you are only seeing like 30% of someones life through those little squares and while you think their life might look perfect or grow jealous of their following, etc, you really don’t know them or what their lives are like. Nothing is perfect and no life is perfect… we all have things that are hard, because life is hard sometimes and relying on a ton of followers to like your posts will not make those things go away.
Be alright with progress and not perfection.
We are never going to be perfect and if you think that someone on the internet is perfect, you need to rethink your definition of perfection. You may have someone you follow that seriously looks perfect in every single picture they post, but I wonder how many times they had to take that photo before they got it right?!! I’m sure they took tons of pictures and decided which one was the best… but you see perfection, yet they still see all the things they dislike about themselves. No one is ever 100% happy with how they look or sometimes who they are, even if they look like they have it all together. If you think someone’s life is perfect from the things they post online, remember again you are only seeing the highlights! What kind of progress are you wanting for yourself… think about those things and make a plan to be able to see your progress. Be real with people… they will appreciate it and will enjoy getting to know the real you!
Understand your purpose.
What is your purpose on Social Media??? Is it to get noticed by a certain brand? Is it to make friends? Is it to draw more traffic to your blog? Is it to be uplifting and encouraging? Is it to showcase your fashion sense or knowledge of products? Or maybe it is just to share you life with friends? We all have different goals and when you are trying to become someone else, it is evident. BE YOU! NO ONE ELSE IS LIKE YOU AND THAT IS AN AMAZING THING! I have been asking myself this the last couple of months…. What is my purpose? I want to be able to share little glimpses of my life, teaching, performing, and share some of who I am, but not for the sake of a lot of likes… I want to make genuine friends, support others, and stay in touch with college friends or others I have met along the way. I want to be honest about who I am and share the exciting things, but also THE REAL LIFE THINGS.
Recognize how unique you are
Again, BE YOU!!!!! THAT IS YOUR SUPERPOWER! You have something to give that others don’t! No one is living the same life as you or has had the same life as you. We can learn from each other and isn’t it refreshing to be yourself??? This is seriously one of the best things about social media- We are all so different! I love seeing what others are posting about and getting ideas from them! Reading others reviews on makeup and things, to be able to try or hearing about an awesome sale! Maybe makeup is your thing and you absolutely love being up to date on all the new amazing beauty products.. or maybe fashion is your thing and you love to shop and wear the latest trends- This may not be everyone and that’s okay… we all have different passions. Be grateful and thankful for the life you live and the things that you can bring to the world that are different than others.
Find ways to cheer others on, encouraging them and being genuinely happy for them.
This is seriously one of my favorite things!!!! I absolutely love to cheer others on. There are so many things that women are doing that I see through social media and I want them to know that I see the hard work they have done and it paid off. We all want that, don’t we?? Affirmation that we have done well…? That is why we look for so many likes and comments, because then we feel like we have done something. I know for me that in the times that I begin to compare myself, reaching out and offering some encouragement to others really helps combat my comparisons and instead allow me to be excited for others. Plus, kindness doesn’t cost a thing and we should be spreading it more often. I love this quote “ Spread kindness like frosting”- It is a beautiful picture and so sweet!
Be grateful for the life you have been giving, look for things to thank God for and realize that you are unique and great the way you are… Stop comparing yourself to someone you don’t know. Be You and Be proud to be you!
Til Next Time,
Stay Kind and live genuinely!
Erin Ruscel
Amen to this post! This covered so many things that I have been feeling in the last month. Especially since school started, I have had such a hard time keeping up with social media, but I honestly never felt like I had to “keep up” with any of it until I started blogging. I definitely want to use it to promote my blog, but I don’t want it to become a world of comparison or stress. I love your section on “understanding your purpose” and I think this is something that I need to rethink myself! I think it’s okay to have more than one purpose for social media, but maybe one is weighted a little more. I also love what you said about cheering others on! Instagram itself has opened my eyes to so many inspirational people, and I just love to see what they are doing and I love to be inspired by their actions and words, you being one of those people! I agree, let’s keep using our unique superpowers and cheering each other on and conquer these thoughts on comparison! Thank you for making me reflect on my own struggles with this topic =) This was such an honest and heartfelt post filled with encouragement and power! You go girl!
I’m so glad that this post resonated with you as well! I totally know what you mean about having to ” Keep up”… I never really felt like that either until I began blogging and now I feel that if I take a break, I may not have as many people liking my posts, or commenting or even reading my blog. We work so hard and pour so much into our blogs and trying to make them really genuine, and it is hard when you don’t get the feedback you thought you would. I don’t at all want to start writing things just because I feel as if I will get more comments or anything… I want to always be genuine and write about what I want too, about life, and things that I feel God is leading me to write about. I agree with you that I think we can have a couple different purposes to our blog, but I was actually wondering the same thing… “Should I have one purpose be a little bit more important than others?” I like so many things and really since my blog is supposed to be about my life journey and the little things in life, I feel like I can really write about a ton of different things. I think you have done an excellent job on promoting your blog, as well as, being genuine and finding all the small moments in your life that make you happy! I love reading your posts and thinking back to special moments and finding ways to reconnect my memories through something you have written. I enjoy viewing your profile and keeping up with you for lots of fun inspirations and beautiful small moments! Thank you for inspiring me and many others in the social media worlds to notice the small things in life and take some time to dwell on them and our lives… it is one of your superpowers! Keep it up! I hope you are enjoying you Saturday and relaxing a bit from the craziness of your week!