I got the best man! That’s right, I said it!!! I got the best man… I really do!
Dave and I are coming up on 4 years of marriage ( yay!!!!!) and I can truly and without a doubt say he is the best guy for me. I’ve known ever since we met each other that Dave was a great guy, but over the last couple of years of our marriage I have seen the ways in which he is so much better than me. Being married brings out the best and worst qualities of a person and sometimes it’s hard to realize that you have a lot more work to do to make your marriage the best it can be. There are so many different seasons that you will share throughout your marriage journey and while some may be joyful, you will have some hard times as well.
Over the last couple of months in particular, having talked with some friends about their marriages, I see just how great of a marriage I have. Yes there are things we are constantly working on and getting better at, but overall Dave and I have a really good stable marriage. I definitely attribute a lot of our success to Dave.
Dave is great at Communicating…
Ok, so at the beginning of our relationship, I knew that Dave was good with words since he is an incredible song writer… and yes, Dave if you are reading, I do believe that! He writes beautiful melodies and his words are so heart felt. But, I began to realize what a great communicator he was and is, during our dating time and first 3 years of marriage. Dave lived in Nashville and I lived in Springfield the whole time we were dating and he had a job as a merchandise manager for different tours that took him on the road. So there were many long nights of talks and Skype sessions… Thank you, Lord for Skype!!! Then the first 3 years of our marriage we were long distance more than we were in the same house, due to his touring job. I believe that we became closer because of the distance and constantly having to talk out the hard issues or things that we were unhappy with. The funny thing is that I don’t like conflict and many times I like to talk things out to get them resolved, but I soon realized that I hold things in a lot longer than Dave and many times want to be upset longer… it’s sad to say, but it’s the truth. He is so much better at calming down during a situation or arguement and discussing things in a reasonable and logical way. I have found this to be rare for many men and I am so blessed that Dave is this way.
Dave is so caring and helpful….
Dave is so much better at thinking about me and trying to make things easier for me. I like to think of myself as being a person who helps others and thinks about their needs, but yet when it comes to my husband, I often fall short in this area, and hate to admit it. This is something that I am working on. I am always super busy running from one thing to the other and Dave knowing this, tries his best to help with things around the house, picking up groceries, and just lending a hand when needed. I appreciate this so much about him. I have always been really independent and would get everything done in its time and when Dave was on the road, I had to take care of pretty much everything. It was nice when he would come home because not only was I so incredibly happy to have him home, but he could help me out with a lot of daily tasks. One of the ways he cares for me is through cooking for me. He loves to cook, but there are many times that he will make something fast just for me before I have to run out of the door for a rehearsal or meeting- he is always thinking of me and making life easier. But beyond the household obligations, he would go out of his way to help me with school projects, recording my students and uploading videos, and he has even helped me with the blog occasionally if i’m struggling with something. He does all these things because he loves me and knows that by helping me, he is alleviating a lot of stress for me, but also showing me how much he cares.
See why I say I have the best hubby?!!!
Beyond everything, He is my best friend! I know that I can talk with him about anything and even when I don’t like being super vulnerable, I know that he will take in all my thoughts, fears and emotions and encourage me. I know that when I cry hysterically and have mascara running down my face, looking like Darth Vador, that he will comfort me and grab tissues. I know that when I feel overwhelmed and completely stressed about things, he will ask how he can help. I know that he loves seeing me succeed and cheering me on in all areas of my life. He challenges me to think outside of the box, and many times plays “devil’s advocate.”- which drives me crazy, but i know it is good for me to see other sides.
There are so many areas that I want to improve on in being a loving wife!
Something that has helped me and my husband understand how we feel love is knowing and understanding the five love languages. Have you heard of the 5 love languages of marriage? If you have, do your research and find out the way you feel love and the way your significant other feels love. For those of you that have not heard about this, I am going to briefly explain them because it will tie in to the next part of the post. I feel that once Dave and I learned about the 5 love languages and discovered which ones applied to us, we were able to in a sense “better love each other.”
So the five love languages has transformed so many relationships because it helps you learn how to express love in your spouse’s language. Gary Chapman summed up love in 5 different ways: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. What makes you feel loved? Is it when your guy tells you that you are the most beautiful women in the world? or is it when you get a bouquet of roses just because? Or when your guy cleans the house unexpectedly and did the laundry? These are all great things and ways that people feel loved, but not all women or men feel loved in the same ways.
Amazing, Right?!!! Are you getting excited??!!! I sure did!!!
I would definitely suggest reading Gary Chapman’s book ” The 5 love Languages ; the Secret to Love that lasts,” and discovering more and more ways to love your significant other….. AND, if you want to know what your love languages are, take this quiz and find out!!!! I love little quizzes and personality quizzes online to learn more about myself and others, so i actually had already taken this quiz before Dave and I got into a relationship. I was interested to see though if my love languages had changed throughout my 20’s. I took the quiz the first time while I was in college and I took it again 4 years ago, when Dave and I began our journey in marriage. My results had changed!!!! So whether this is your first time learning about this or taking the quiz, or you’ve already taken the quiz, you should take it again and see if you’ve changed!
Quiz: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/
What did we learn about our love languages????
My Results: Words of Affirmation, Works of Service, and Quality time.
Dave’s Results: Quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation
So as you read above, he knows me really well, because he shows me love in my love languages all the time… why is he sooooooo good?!!! I am seriously one blessed woman! Looking at our love languages, we receive and give love in different ways and to love your significant other the best that you can, knowing and understanding their love language really helps! I think about ways that I can love Dave better…
is there a time that I can cook dinner and make it special? What about an evening out together or an evening watching a movie or show he enjoys?
Currently, we’ve been watching the basketball Finals and cheering on the Cavaliers!!! We spend time together watching the games andI have actually started to enjoy it more myself, but in the beginning I knew it mean’t a lot to Dave, so I would watch it with him for him. This is something that I really love doing with him… he gets so excited and nervous watching all the time and it’s fun for me to see him get so in to it.
So, I have the smallest head and I’m wearing Dave’s hat… it was huge on me and totally looks a little funny, but I was happy I could wear it to help cheer on the team 🙂
As far as physical touch goes, I think as a women sometimes it is so hard to look past our emotions, feelings or sometimes insecurities to get intimate with our partner. I have struggled with this for a long time and I wish I could tell you that I am better, but it is a daily thing. I have to give myself pep talks and remind myself about how Dave views me… not the way I view myself or wish I saw myself. I know that being in love with yourself and your body definitely helps. The other thing that has begun to help me more is not only to see myself through Dave’s eyes, but to continue to remind myself about how God views me. It is changing my mind as I reflect on it daily!
Words of Affirmation are not hard for me to give, but sometimes in the rush of my daily life, I forget to encourage Dave or tell him something that I love about him. We get into the “how was your day” talks and end up discussing things that frustrated us or daily occurrences, and that’s not bad, but I want to make sure that as we are discussing these things, that I strive to give him some good feedback and tell him all the things I appreciate about him… I want him to know and always know how I feel about him!!!!
What a beautiful post. Sounds like you have a special and magical relationship. May God continue to shower you both with blessings.
Thank you so much for reading my post and taking the time to comment! I really appreciate you doing that! Yes, I would say God has truly blessed us and I have been truly blessed by having Dave as my husband. Thank you so much for the blessings… blessings on you and your spouse as well!
Love it! 5 languages of love, after almost 20 years, I hope I have figured it out with my spouse, I think I may still take the test! 🙂
Thank you Adele for taking the time to read my post and comment- it means a lot! I am so glad that you had read the 5 love languages and I think it is really cool that you might have your hubby take the test and see what he gets. I think it helps so much being able to understand why your hubby does something and how you and he feel love!
My husband I did read The 5 Love Languages together before we got married five years ago, and it was so helpful and eye-opening! I lean heavily toward quality time while he mostly prefers physical touch. Great post and congrats on four years!
Mandi! Thank you for taking the time to read my post and I really appreciate you taking time to comment. I am so glad that ya’ll have read the book! I feel like it is super helpful and yes, definitely eye-opening! Thanks you!